Saturday, February 28, 2015

Paint Day Fun - Deathjack

Deathjack
Deathjack after dismembering some Cygnar


Ryan came over last night and we had a fun paint day. We figured if we're planning to do battle reports with his army, he needs to have his models painted to appease Dicelore.

Deathjack Back - Purple
Back of the Deathjack

Friday, February 27, 2015

Battle Report: Protectorate of Menoth vs. Circle Orboros - 35 Points 2015 Steamroller: Fire Support


Hey guys! We got another brand new Steamroller 2015 Battle Report for you! This is a 35 point match between Protectorate of Menoth's fiery balls of flaming radical justice and Circle Orboros' howling at the moon and building roundish structures out of piles of rocks.

Let's meet the armies!


Protectorate of Menoth Army (35 Points)


Warcaster: pKreoss - Pop and drop, spell denial
Warjack: Vanquisher - RNG 10 AOE 4" Continous Fire blast
Warjack: Redeemer - Highly inaccurate RNG 16 AOE 3 shot
Units: Choir of Menoth - Battle Hymn and Passage (No ranged damage unless it is Magical)
Units: Knights Errants + UA - Pathfinder + Able to sacrifice a model to protect another in its unit
Solos: Covenant of Menoth - Spell denial, Can give Continuous Fire to a unit
Solos: High Paladin Dartan Vilmon - Impervious Wall (Forfeit Movement or Action to prevent all damage except from Magical attacks.)
Solo: Paladin of the Order of the Wall - Can use Vilmon's Impervious Wall
Solo: Paladin of the Order of the Wall - Can use Vilmon's Impervious Wall
Solo: Vassal of Menoth - Gives a Warjack a free attack
Solo: Vassal Mechanik - Repairs Warjacks


Circle Orboros Army (35 Points)


Warcaster: eKrueger - Telekinesis, Storm Wall (RNG denial), Feat: Hurricane - Pushes models 3" away and gives them -2 speed.
Warbeast: Warpwolf Stalker - Reach, Lighting Strike - Full advance at the end of your turn after killing an enemy, Berzerk
Warbeast: Megalith - Geomancy - Can cast a Warlock spell, Undergrowth - Creates Rough Terrain and debuffs enemy defense
Warbeast: Woldwarden - Geomancy - can cast caster spells, Wild Growth - Creates forests
Units: Druids + UA - Summon Vortex Cloud -2 Attack Debuff, Force Bolt - Push and pull D3
Solo: Gallows Grove - Arc Node and blocking charge lanes


Thursday, February 26, 2015

Battle Report Fail - Circle vs. Menoth


It was a great game between Circle Orbors (eKreuger) and the Protectorate of Menoth (pKreoss) and I took about 130+ photos with dice results and everything till I realized that accidentally left the camera on Manual focus and the last half of the game came out way too blury.
 
Fail

Warmachine Alpha Campaign Design


I bought my boss a Cygnar battlebox to get him hooked on Warmachine and he's become my most reliable opponent. We play roughly 4-6 games a month against each other but since we started playing Steamroller scenarios, he's only beaten me twice.

I've offered to give him a slight advantage but he'll have none of it. He is a glutton for punishment.

I got an idea this evening and thought that maybe if I disguised the advantages in a campaign setting he'd be more willing to accept them and it also would help me work on bettering my strategies playing a little from behind.

He's also a gambler so I figured I can tempt him with something like if you destroy your opponents Capital they have to buy you a Colossal or an Army Box as a prize.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Battle Report - Cygnar vs. Menoth - A Late Night Battle at the Office

Austin and I stayed late at the office last night and played a couple of 50 point games with the new Steamroller 2015 Rules that just came out. A couple cool things about the new Steamroller 2015 pack is that it allows you to choose your own personal Objective that benefits only you when you're standing close to it. Here's a quick rundown:
  1. Arcane Wonder - Gives you a free upkeep spell if you're within 4" of it
  2. Armory - Light Artillery gains boosted range attack while within 4" + you can heal it by sacrificing a unit.
  3. Bunker - The Objective and units B2B with it do not suffer blast damage
  4. Effigy of Valor - Models within 4" gain Fearless and immediately rally
  5. Fuel Cache - Models beginning within 4" of the Objective can run or charge for free
  6. Stockpile - Knocked down models within 4" stand up in your Maintenance Phase.
After much debating we finally chose objectives and of course when we rolled for scenario we got Incursion which doesn't have an objective so we didn't get to try it out on our first game. Woooonddeerful.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Monday, February 23, 2015

8 Steps to Painting Your Plastic Little Friends

Hey guys! Today I'm taking you on a trip from start to finish on how I assemble and paint my models. First off, I'm no expert. These are table top play quality paint jobs and this guide will show you how to paint your models quickly and get them on the table ASAP.


STEP 1 - Put all of your pieces in a pile on the center of the table and pour yourself a stiff drink. Make sure to smell the pile of plastic because the psychedelic fumes will help you paint later on.

STEP 2 - Assemble all of your models and give yourself a hi-five. You are not even close to being done.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

I Don't Want Anybody Else, When I think About You I Touch My Shelf.

I remember being young and over at friends house and their dad would have a awesome shelf of awesomeness that we were NEVER ALLOWED TO TOUCH. It was pure torture. I don't even remember what stuff was on it but I do remember the awe that radiated form it and basking in the burning glow of forbidden-ness.

Now that I am an adult, I too have a shelf of NO TOUCHING. I think it drives my nephews nuts. MUAAHHAAHHAAHAAAAA! 


Every figurine in the shelf has a certain place, a home where their little plastic bodies live. I know when my shelf has been tampered with.

Dice Wrath - Embroider Shirt

I really thought the picture was clearer on the phone but I guess I can't ever hold my camera still when I take a picture.
ryan miller

Ryan stopped by yesterday and picked up his official Dice Wrath embroidered shirt exclusive only to those who blog on DiceWrath.com or to people with money.

Friday, February 20, 2015

Ermahgerd! New Gargantuans are Coming!

These look super cool. I'm pretty excited for Circle Orboros and hope they don't suck like the previous ones.


Fantasy Hordes. What kind of Gargantuan Would You Like to See?


This is my Legion of Everblight Gargantuan creation. I have named him Shredaphonagore and he will melt your face with his 3x RNG 14 AOE 5 blue vomit balls as he is flying over as this song is playing in the background:

Too tired to post so here's a baby picture.


This is baby Ronan Wolf Lim with his Crusader. I am too tired to post anything else. Go back to bed.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Model Spotlight - Ravagore (Legion of Everblight)


Whenever I play my Ravagore I'm always think about that scene in Jurassic Park where the dinosaur spits on Newman as he's trying to make his big getaway. 

Dilophosaurus vs. Newman

My favorite thing about the Ravagore is that it can hurl giant balls of flaming acidic vomit from ridiculous ranges ignoring cover and concealment and leaving a 3" pike of bile for 1 wound infantry to slip slide on for a full round.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Khador Shirt - Copyright Infringement at its finest.

I just want to say that I have no intention of selling this shirt. You hear me, Privateer Press? This is just for around the house while I'm in my underwear eating ice cream from the bucket.

ARM 21 - SPD 4

Monday, February 16, 2015

Weird Undead Armored Guy Sketch

I was digging in my desk and found a pack of fine tip Micron pens that had been sitting unopened for years in a box and I figured I'd break them in with a little drawing.

My buddy Ryan (who also will be blogging for DiceWrath) plays a Warmachine army called "Cryx" that are full of spell slinging axe wielding undead monsters. I thought it'd be fun to draw something "Cryx-ish" and make him a shirt for when we start doing our video battle reports.

Cryx Drawning
"Cryx-ish" guy drawing process

I just kind of started randomly sketching a form in pencil and then filled the shapes in with the Micron pen. I didn't want to have to draw legs and stuff so I just ended it with his hands.

Dice Wrath - Adventures in Amateur Embroidery or How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Money and to Love Capitalism

Brother PR1000e

Meet the Brother PR1000e. He can stitch more stitches in one minute than 1000 retired grandmas stitching on the couch while watching The Price is Right. It's an amazing piece of machinery that I'm hoping eventually pay for my son's college education or at least a couple buckets of Legos and Nerf Guns for myself.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Model Spotlight - Deathjack (Cryx) - A Love Letter to My Deathjack by Ryan Miller


Happy Fun Deathjack
Until Ryan learns Photoshop, I'm making all his images.

Basic Stats:


SPD: Standard for a cryxian heavy, the fact that this is the big daddy of cryx jacks and it matches up with the other helljacks is a blessing in disguise. Play like a true cryxian and this guys threat range is bigger than most of your victims will be expecting

STR: With two open fists combined with his high STR, you can have some real fun with power attacks. There are some fun things to be had with a double-handed throw both with your own units (bloat thrall bomb anyone?) or throwing a light jack back at its own caster.

MAT: Matches it's baby brother, the Seether on this one. Which isn't a bad thing, when you swing someone is going to be feeling it. Chances are you are either boosting to hit or damage with this guy and you should always have focus a-plenty. So for a melee monster, this one hits one way or another.

RAT: WHAT?
if you even had to look at this stat, you are doing it wrong. This guy eats faces and prefers his meals fresh, moving on.

DEF: He's gonna get hit, this is Cryx we're talking about after all. DJ stands at the same level at most every other Cryx bigjack so this shouldn't be a huge surprise. Little guys can see him but won't be doing much but anyone with half a mind that's swinging is probably going to connect.

ARM:
DJ is not an out boxer, he doesn't dodge and he doesn't sway. DJ prefers to get in and trade blow for blow, because most anyone else isn't going to be standing if he gets a solid trade on him. Play like a Cryxian and with the right buff you're touching Khador levels of armor here, nothing is more satisfying then watching someone try so hard to hit and having DJ just laugh in their face at their pitiful damage.

Mahjong with the Inlaws


Last night my wife and I went to my in-laws house and had a 3 hour Mahjong session where everyone cleaned me out. We are hardcore and play for 5 cents a point and I did not win a single game that night and ended up paying out $3 in nickles.

I like how my wife keeps her pile of money in a KFC coleslaw container. I honestly think we've only ever eaten at KFC twice since we were married 5 years ago, once at a weird KFC buffet and another time right after she gave birth to our son 2 weeks ago. I remember because when I brought her meal to her at the hospital she said, "Oh look! It's like the coleslaw container I have at home!" I'm assuming she's been holding on to that container for 5+ years. Weirdo.

Model Spotlight - Avatar of Menoth (Protectorate of Menoth)

Avatar of Menoth
Avatar of Menoth (11 Points Worthwhile Points of Smash Smash)

First off let's talk about his basic stats that matter.


SPD - The Avatar's speed is above average for a Heavy Warjack which helps him get the jump on some of his slower opponents and coupled with the Reach on his Burning Wrath sword, he has the threat range of 10 on a charge which helps him get some alpha strikes on slower jacks. You can also use that extra speed to run away like a bitch.

MAT - The Avatar's MAT is well above average for a Heavy Warjack. If you're attacking a Defense 14 model you'll have a 72.2% chance to hit. (95.4% boosted) You're most likely going to be able to ram your giant sword of justice up their steam powered butthole.

DEF - This one sucks but whatever, you're a giant walking church of fire and decapitation.

ARM - The ARM is pretty standard for a Menoth heavy but with his +2 Buckler shield he bumps up past a Khador jack and becomes very hard to kill. POW 12 enemy guns only have a 16.7% to do any damage to it.

The Avatar has 2 Weapons:


Divine Shield with a low POW / +2 Buckler / Magic Weapon. Pretty weak but the extra armor does help a lot. You can pretend he is Captain America.

Burning Wrath with a high POW / Magical Weapon / Reach. You have a 16.7% chance to 1 shot eHaley camping no focus and turn her into a steaming pile of telekentic dust.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Warmachine Battle Report 01 - You shouldn't piss off Ryan or he will send his entire army after you.

Warmachine Battle Report

Ok, this battle report is going to suck but you know what? Tough. I have a baby now and he likes to explode a brown cheese curdled load in his diaper THE SECOND I finish change him so I have to change him twice in a span of like 5 minutes. That's life. The battle reports will get better with more pictures and stuff but for now you just live with this.

So I'm trying to recall a game that Ryan (Cryx), Erik (Retribution), and I (Menoth) from about a month ago so the details are fuzzy but one thing is for certain: You shouldn't piss off Ryan or he will send his entire army after you.

We each made 25 point teams and tried something new.

Friday, February 13, 2015

DIY Battle Bunker Structure Terrain

I'm a person that needs to glue and paint things together. If I had all the money in the world and didn't have to work I'd focus on becoming the next Asian Martha Stewart of miniature war gaming.

My wife and I just had a baby on January 31st 2015, the day before the Super Bowl and when I came home from 3 days of sleep in a chair at the hospital I need to feel "Martha Stewarty" and build things with glue and glitter.

I dug around the house for stuff but couldn't find anything till I remembered that I had precious plastic from an old Cygnar battle box on my shelf. My initial thought was turning it into some well padded dice box so I can throw dice without the fear of them rolling away and choking one of my dogs to death.

After looking at it some more It started to look more like some sort of structure so I decided to go with it.

DIY Miniature Wargame Terrain
The beginning stages of Asian Martha Stewartting

Harbinger of Menoth - Finished Paint Job


Yay. I painted her. I still haven't played her because she seems tricky to use. She's a large base so she can be sniped pretty easy and I currently don't have the Knights Errants / Officer / Solo to make her super kick ass yet so I haven't had her on the battlefield.

I imagine that when I do people will be so afraid and I will wreck so much face that it will cause people to not want to ever play this game anymore. I'm assuming.

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Last Night on Earth Board Game - How to Play Video

Brains? BRAAAIIINZZZ!!!!!! If you like campy cliche zombie movies, Last Night on Earth throws you right into the middle of it allowing you to control characters such as the pistol toting small town Sheriff Anderson , Jenny the sexy farmer's daughter, and Jake Cartwright the hobo homeless drifter giving handies out for crack money.

In the game one person plays the ZOMBEEEEZ while the others play the townsfolk trying to complete a scenario mission.

The players win when they successful finish their objective and the zombies win when they eat all the delicious brains.

This was the game that started it all for me. I saw it at Barnes and Noble and brought it over to my in-laws house for game night and it was a huge hit. I then began taking the game to other people's houses and getting them hooked on it. I even made a video! If you'd like to learn how to play Last Night on Earth just watch my How to Video.

Mark Lim is a web designer, owns OverwatchApparel.com and PoisonApple.com, a food blogger (OhSoFat.com) and a part time astronaut.  His favorite game is Warmachine / Hordes and is crossing his fingers hoping that "Better Call Saul" is going to not "suck huge balls."

Hive Board Game - How to Play Video

Hive is one of my favorite strategy games because I thought I was so damn good at it. I would whoop all my friends and just felt like a giant among insects till I actually started playing online at en.BoardGameArena.com where I was thoroughly humiliated.

I've always hated chess because I always felt that when you lose someone, you are instantly thought of as stupider than them. It's like comparing SAT test scores. (I always lied about mine)

Hive has those elements but I still like it because of the interesting choices the game presents you. It plays like an abstract chess where you control different insects with the goal to fully surrounded your opponents Queen with tiles.

It's quick and it's easy to learn but hard to master.

If you're in the market for a cool quick 2 player filler game, this one is my go to. If you'd like to learn, here is a video tutorial I've made explaining how to play:

How to Play Hive Video